


Fleeting Dream

by Anonymous



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Imaginary Friends, M/M, Phichit is a hamster plush, Romance, Zine: Namida, follows canon events, yoi angst zine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 17:08:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19445872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: When Yuuri was young, his parents gifted him a plush toy that would become his friend and change his life in more ways than he could imagineWritten for the Namida Angst Zine





	Fleeting Dream

**Author's Note:**

> I never wrote angst before  
> Special thanks to AgentCoop for being my beta

The once empty apartment floor was covered with cardboard boxes. Yuuri couldn’t believe his luck; he’d won the Grand Prix with silver, he’d made up with his coach and one true love Viktor, and he’d moved temporarily into his apartment until the skating season began again. 

Life looked promising. Yuuri was happy. He looked through the boxes and carefully removed their content one by one, only stopping when he noticed a worn out and well-loved plush that resembled a hamster toy. 

“What did you find, Yuuri?” a voice behind him asked as two arms wrapped around his middle.

Yuuri gasped softly, but relaxed as Victor came into view, resting his chin on Yuuri’s shoulder and smiled softly at him. 

“Oh it’s- it’s nothing. I just found an old friend,” Yuuri responded quietly. Viktor frowned slightly and his smile disappeared from his face. 

“Is that…?” he started, but didn’t finish his sentence. 

Yuuri put the plush down and turned around to fully face Viktor. “Don’t worry. He’s gone.”

Viktor kissed Yuuri’s nose. “I know. Though I keep wondering, how did you get him? When we met, you already had him.”

“Oh, I suppose I could tell you,” Yuuri smiled sadly and closed his eyes. 

* * *

Hiroko and Toshiya had two children they loved very dearly. However, they also had an onsen to run and as such, didn’t have much time for their kids. Yuuri was still too young to help out, so he had a lot of free time. 

Fortunately, he was able to fill any extra free time with dance and skating lessons courtesy of Minako, the beautiful ballet teacher who was a regular at the onsen. They used the nearby ice rink to practice and though Yuuri enjoyed it, he couldn’t help but feel lonely sometimes. 

On his sixth birthday, everything changed. It seemed at first that his parents were too busy to celebrate, but in the evening they made Yuuri feel very loved and special. 

Minako, Yuuko, the girl he sometimes skated with, Takeshi, who teased Yuuri a bit about his physique but still cared, his older sister, and his parents all came together. There was good food, laughter, moments of insanity (Yuuri discovered that his dad was an absolutely embarrassing drunk), but what topped everything was the gift Yuuri received. 

His mom squeezed a soft and squishy hamster plush toy into his hands and gave him a kiss on his cheek while she held him close. 

“Yuuri, my love, I know that you must feel very lonely, so your papa and I decided to get you a friend. He’s more than just a toy, Yuuri. He’s a good listener too! Give it a try!” she encouraged him. 

Yuuri only smiled and hugged the toy. “I’ll take good care of him! I promise!” 

They continued to celebrate until it got late. That night Yuuri held the toy in his arms. “Mama said I should take care of you,” he hummed and sat up while he raised the toy into the air. 

“From now on your name is Phichit! I hope we can be good friends!” Yuuri laughed and fell back into his bed and covered the toy and himself with a blanket. 

“Goodnight, Phichit,” Yuuri mumbled sleepily and closed his eyes. 

“ _ Goodnight, Yuuri _ .” 

* * *

From then on, Yuuri took Phichit everywhere he went. He let the toy sit on the ground when he took his dance lessons, and when he went skating, he let Phichit sit on the railing so that he could always watch Yuuri. Of course Yuuri wasn’t allowed to skate alone.

“Okay Yuuri, I think you should stop for today!” Minako called after hours of practice. Yuuri thought that he was getting better so he went to tell his friend about it. 

“Phichit! Phichit, did you see? I got better, right?” Yuuri asked slightly out of breath. 

“ _ Yes, you did really well _ !” the toy answered him and made Yuuri smile. 

“ _ Have you ever thought of competing internationally? You have the talent,  Yuuri _ _!_ ” Phichit suggested. 

Yuuri considered this for a moment, then looked at Minako. 

“Minako-sensei? Phichit said I’m good enough to compete internationally! Do you think I have a chance?” he asked her with wide eyes. 

She frowned at his question and looked to Phichit before answering Yuuri with a smile. “If your friend thinks so then it must be true! You worked hard, Yuuri.” 

“Then I’ll do it!” Yuuri swore with determination and smiled back at her, but he wondered why Minako looked at Phichit before she gave him an answer.

He quickly pushed it aside though when Minako told him what he had to expect and by the time he relaxed in the hot springs that evening, the memory had completely left his mind.

* * *

Years passed and Yuuri, now 23, was getting ready for a big competition he was about to skate for. Unfortunately, Coach Celestino thought that it would be better for Yuuri to leave Phichit in his hotel room, even though the skater felt very anxious. His thoughts were racing and he looked to his coach, but Celestino didn’t seem to notice his anxiety. 

“Phichit… I need you,” Yuuri whimpered, but his friend didn’t answer. 

This was all his fault. He should’ve tried to bring Phichit with him anyway. Phichit couldn’t give him strength from where he was now.  _ He would miss Yuuri’s rise to the top.  _

His thoughts went spiraling until he they turned so loud that he couldn’t hear the music anymore. He fell once, twice, picked himself up, but no matter what he did, the taunting words wouldn’t leave his head. 

“ _ You didn’t take me with you! Remember that I was the one who told you to do this. And this is what I get?”  _ he thought he heard Phichit say. 

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” Yuuri cried as he fell yet again. 

He heard the audience groan. Everyone was watching him failing. He was a disappointment. He wasn’t a top skater. 

After what felt like forever, the music finally stopped. Yuuri didn’t need to see his scores as he skated back to the kiss and cry. He already knew that he lost and wanted nothing more than to get back to his friend. 

Thankfully Celestino seemed to understand and gave him space. Phichit didn’t have nice words for him however, and Yuuri couldn’t bear to stay in the same room with him.

So for this one night, he left Phichit and drowned his sorrows in sweet champagne. 

* * *

  
  


After his disastrous performance, Yuuri returned home. He hadn’t heard Phichit’s voice after that but Yuuri thought that maybe he was just too busy to notice. Besides, Viktor was certainly enough to keep him distracted. 

The man showed up out of nowhere and insisted on being Yuuri’s coach. Of course Viktor wasn’t perfect, but Yuuri found himself falling for the Russian anyway. He didn’t know when it happened but at some point he realized he needed Viktor in his life too.

Yuuri really thought that he found another safe anchor in his life. Viktor introduced him to new people and he spent less and less time with the plush toy. He didn’t even realize it until he found Phichit lying in a trash bin a day before the Grand Prix Finale. 

“Phichit! Oh no!” Yuuri cried and picked the plush up. It was thankfully not damaged but covered in dirt. 

“Yuuri, why are you talking to that toy again?” Viktor wanted to know. 

“Did you throw him away?” Yuuri asked angrily. “He’s not just a toy! He’s my friend!”

“Yuuri, he’s not real! You depend too much on that toy! I deliberately kept you away from it because it’s not healthy,” Viktor confessed to him, but that hurt Yuuri even more. 

“He’s the one who told me to skate competitively! He’s my best friend!” Yuuri insisted. 

“And what did he do? Did he teach you new tricks? Did he comfort you when you cried? Did he pick you up from the ground when you fell on ice?” Viktor asked, slightly irritated. 

Yuuri fell quiet at that. It was true that Phichit could only offer words for comfort, but without him, Yuuri wouldn’t have made it here. 

“He didn’t. But he’s still my friend,” Yuuri told Viktor quietly. 

“Why do you think I’m here, Yuuri? Why have I come to coach you?” Viktor took Yuuri’s hands into his when he asked. 

“I don’t know. I’m just a dime-a-dozen skater,” Yuuri sighed and looked away. 

“And that’s where you’re wrong. You worked so hard with your own strength and didn’t have to rely on anyone’s help. That’s why I chose you. This is all you Yuuri. So please, do it for me and let him go.” Viktor pleaded and tried to take Phichit. 

“No!” Yuuri stumbled back and held Phichit away from Viktor. 

The Russian looked hurt and sighed. “I hope you give your best tomorrow,” he said and left the room. 

Yuuri waited the whole night for him to return, but Viktor didn’t come back. 

“ _ You didn’t listen to me, Yuuri. He’s not good for you, _ ” Phichit taunted him. 

“No… I don’t believe that,” Yuuri mumbled. 

“ _ But I know you do! You don’t need him and he doesn’t need you _ .” 

“Stop saying that! Phichit, I love him! I can’t let him go!” Yuuri cried and threw the toy away. 

He curled up in his bed and cried. He missed Viktor, missed his warmth and him being there when Yuuri needed him most. 

* * *

That night, Yuuri had a strange dream. At first he saw his plush toy lying on the ground in front of him, but then it transformed and took the shape of a young boy with short black hair and sun-kissed skin. 

“Hello, Yuuri” the boy smiled warmly. 

“Who… Phichit? Why… what…?” Yuuri stammered. 

“Everything is possible in a dream!” Phichit cheerily told him with a wink. 

“A dream? I’m dreaming?” Yuuri asked. 

“Yep! I summoned you!” Phichit twirled around happily. “It was you who gave me a body though. And I’m glad you did, now I can finally say goodbye!”

It took a moment for Yuuri to take the words in. “Goodbye?”

“I’m not real, Yuuri, and you know that too. It’s time to let go of me,” Phichit told him calmly. 

Yuuri shook his head and bit his lip. “But you’re my best friend! Why can’t you stay?!”

Phichit walked closer to Yuuri and pulled him into a tight hug. “You found someone else to love and rely on. I’m really glad that you’ve kept me this long in your life, but aren’t you growing a little too old for imaginary friends?”

“I still don’t want to let you go!” Yuuri insisted, but he saw Phichit’s body fading away. 

“I’ll always be a part of you. I promise,” he whispered and slowly disappeared. 

* * *

Yuuri’s alarm he set on his phone suddenly jerked him awake. He opened his eyes, yawned tiredly and rubbed the sand out of his eyes as he sat up. 

There was a note on the bed stand next to him that read: “ _ I made breakfast. Don’t be late.”  _

Yuuri smiled and got up. He couldn’t remember what he dreamt last night, but he felt so much lighter. He’d apologize to Viktor later and get ready for the Grand Prix final. 

The dream from last night was momentarily forgotten as Yuuri started his day. 

* * *

Yuuri fell silent when he finished his story. 

“I’m glad you told me this,” Viktor eventually said and broke the silence. “I understand now why you held him so close. He was everything to you, wasn’t he?” 

“Mhm,” Yuuri hummed in acknowledgement. “But… he’s gone now. Or maybe he’s watching over us from somewhere else.” 

Viktor kissed Yuuri’s cheek to cheer him up and hugged him a little tighter, which made Yuuri blush slightly. “I’m glad you let go of him. You have me now!” 

“I do,” Yuuri smiled happily and turned around to kiss Viktor properly. 


End file.
